IMPORTANT NEWS GUYS.

Some really, really bad news guys, kind of a big shock for us all, re Rashy. Heth contacted me with something she was worried about and moonie put 2 and 2 together and found this. Heth wasn't sure, but with the info moonie had, it is definite I'm afraid.

http://www.chelmsfordweeklynews.co.uk/news/localnews/6366857.Accountant_committed_suicide/

Truly sorry for delivering such bad news to you all.

I feel sad for him and his family. I sure wish it wasn't true he was a very outspoken and sincerly a nice guy.

Ok, I've had a few minutes to think about some stuff guys.

Personally, I'm a bit stunned, but in the back of my mind, it's kind of what I have been thinking, although resigned to the fact that we would never find out the truth.

For Moonie, Heth, Malty and Pred, who I know all thought a lot of Rashy and spent time with him on Vent etc......

The last time I spoke with Steve, moonie recalls me saying to her afterwards, that I thought something like this was imminent. We all know all too well how up and down he could be, and had we not been told he was moving home and would have no net connection, I daresay we would have been a lot more concerned at the time by his disappearance.

Moonie is in tears and I expect Heth will be the same. I understand the feeling you guys may be going through, anger, frustration etc, why didn't he say something, if only......etc, etc. Bottom line guys is that if someone is determined to take their own life, and on reflection, I believe Steve had this in his mind for awhile and thought it through, there is nothing in the world any of us could have done to change things or talk him out of it.

His last forum vist was at 1:30 in the morning of his death, so I think that we can assume that we were in his thoughts at that time. As the report says, he did everything he could to cause those he left behind, as little upset as possible, and knowing Steve the way I did, I'm sure he thought it would be much easier for us all, if he just disappeared, without us knowing.

To Moonie and Heth, the three of us spent a lot of time on Vent with Steve 1 on 1, so it will possibly hit you two the worst, just try to take comfort in the fact that we were his friends and kept him company at a time when he was pretty much alone and down. That's really all we could do guys, his issues and reasons were far deeper than any of us could possibly understand, or indeed were expected to understand.

Rest in peace.

I had a feeling that this was what this thread was going to be about.

Makes me mad now. I knew he was very upset at times but never figured he was THAT depressed. Putting the pieces together sort of leads up to it, but it was so abrupt.

Never met him in real life so I don't really know much about him personally but still wish I could have done something ...

RIP Rash

Truly a shock... I must say, although we had our differences, I must say it feels very bad hearing this ....

im very sad to hear this, cause even though steve and i had our differences, we did become friends again the last couple of months, and had started talking again, after we had both cooled down.

steve was the life of the party and a very nice person, when u got to talk to him.

my thoughts go to his family and the rest of u guys, feeling this loss.
rest in peace steve.

Deeply saddening. Like Nex I had my differences with him, but this is a real shock. Wish I knew what to say. Had our share of clashes and I now truly wish I had been more patient with him. He was a good guy.

Moon, Heth I know you two were close friends with him and my heart goes out to you both.

Gone yet not forgotten, Although we are apart, Your spirit lives within me, Forever in my heart.

Rest In Peace Mate.

Thank you guys, and ty Nan for the kind thought, I think it's easy to overlook internet friendships and how significant they can be. We have all played and talked together for coming up to 3 years, which is quite a significant amount of time and regardless of fall outs, it still hurts when you lose a friend, especially in such a way. No one should feel bad either, Rash 'had his moments' with almost everyone, but I know it was only because he felt so passionately about us as a group and what we represented and last time I discussed it with him, he was very made up that no one held any grudges against him. In particular Nan, Ked and Nex, that meant a lot to him, maybe now we can understand why. I know he also thought the world of Malty and Pred, often saying what a credit they both were to MNR. In hindsight, it seems now like he was tying up loose ends in those few weeks before he left us.

Moonie was with him on vent til late on the friday night and Heth even spoke to him on the Saturday morning around 10 ish, the morning it happened. As far as either knew he was simply all set and ready to move home, having spent the week packing and cleaning and sorting the garden in preparation. Seems he told them he loved them to bits and to take care until he saw them again and that he was looking forward to getting away. Orakio from TSS had an email from him too, 4 days previous, kind of a farewell thing, but thought it was just Rashy being Rashy and understandably never thought anything more of it.

Spoke to Wisey earlier who wondered if by 'moving home', this is what he meant. If that's the case, then he'd been planning it for some time as he talked about the move for the month or so previous. Who knows?

Those Guildies closest to him wouldn't have had any way of telling, or actually doing anything, especially if someones mind was that focussed and made up for such a length of time. On the Ambulances, more often than not in instances such as this that I attended, even immediate family living in the same house would have no idea there was any problem, It's like the person becomes detatched and just carries on as normal whilst sorting affairs and getting everything in order, secretly before hand. Its like their mind is made up and they focus on that goal. Maybe Steves house move, cleaning, gardening etc, may have been just that kind of preparation before saying his goodbyes.

Truly heartbreaking for those closest that are left behind wondering why and trying to make sense of it. In such a small informal guild, where everyone knows everyone else pretty well and for so long, it has quite an impact too and leaves a big hole.

Heth found this, I dunno if its still active, but I lit a candle for my friend regardless cos I'll miss him. Didn't leave a message, for once I had nothing to say, but figure it might be nice for his family if they are keeping tabs on it. They have to approve the thingy so I assume someone will see it. http://www.yourannouncement.co.uk/2964784

*BIG MNR HUG* to Heth, I'm sure I speak for everyone, you know where we are if you need us hun.

Shad.

I have been thinking what to say all day..... the words are so hard to find, lots of what if's and why's and how we never picked up things, especially the night before. And not the best way in the world to find out, even worse after 6 months of trying to contact.

I am so sad .. and to many questions go around in the head and to many tears and a bit of anger because we could have been there.

You are all so sweet which makes me cry more and I think we should take more time for forum messages and I am the worse one for it..... because I really could not loose another one of you, one hurts to much as it is.

Rashy
I love you mate and you know that, rest in peace and you will always be in our thaughts.
You deserve a spank for what you did and one day we might get to do that. Until then
sleep tight (((hugs))) Moonie

RIP M8.



Gallin

Totally gutted at this. The man was a shining example to us all of how to be sincere, genuine, caring and selfless. Even at the end.

I was fortunate to have met him in the flesh twice, both times in Amsterdam. I'm going back soon and will go to the places we went and remember Steve the way I knew him then: Funny, friendly, passionate, strong-willed and genuinely just a decent human being. And those are hard to find.

RIP buddy.

I was totally stunned at this and reading on just made it worse. I didnt know him that well, but any time i did ingame he was always the life of the group, and always came over quite happy in vent. I guess well never know what really went wrong as the mind is a strange thing to figure out, as i well know. A friend that will be missed for sure.

Fred told me of this today

Words fail me

May he find peace

May he rest in peace and waffle in the afterlife as he did in this.

He will be missed by many

Rashy (aka Kinky Goblin)
The Second Sun an MMORPG Player Association Administrator 2006-2009

I hope we all will remember him for as long as life holds on.


- Wighar
Head Community Manager of The Second Sun an MMORPG Player Association.

Was sad to read this on the tss forums, he was a great guy and forced me into MNR as soon as i showed my face fack back in VG last year.

Swtor wont be the same anymore once it comes..

I'll miss ya Rash

Been wanting to post something all week but words fail me , so thought I'd keep it simple

for my knight in rusted armour your gone but won't be forgotten

Miss You

All My Love

Annie

This was done for me by a friend on Red Bubble.......

The Fire Died

Life has become a chore
Deep inside the fire died
You can no longer fight lifes war
You can no longer feel inside

The flame has gone from deep within
Life threw too much your way
And now you know you cannot win
Just try to survive one more day

Broken down and squashed beneath
A weight too strong to bear
You are hiding underneath
Where the fire once was there

You have taken all you can
And dealt with every day
It wasn’t part of the bigger plan
To lose your fire this way

But life has weighed so heavy
Too much for you to take
And you have paid lifes levy
And something had to break

But deep within you cannot see
Its very small but there
A spark that one day will break free
And once again the fire will flare

I hope you have found the peace you were looking for , miss ya git face


SONNET
© William Shakespeare

...When to the session of sweet silent thought
I summon up remembrance of things past,
I sigh the lack of many a thing I sought,
And with old woes new wail my dear time's waste:
Then can I drown an eye, unused to flow,
For precious friends hid in death¹s dateless night,
And weep afresh love's long since cancelled woe,
And moan the expense of many a vanish¹d sight:
Then can I grieve at grievances foregone,
And heavily from woe to woe tell o'er
The sad account of fore-bemoaned moan,
Which I new pay as if not paid before.

But if the while I think on thee, dear friend,
All losses are restored and sorrows end.